The First Touch

There are people in the world that have had some form of massage every day of their lives. The day they were born, their first contact with mom was a warm loving soothing massage from her. From then on they receive a massage every day. As the baby grows and starts to move, its first movements are during a massage and what develops is a natural process as the baby starts to massage mom.

There are people in the world that will die without ever having had any form of massage. Without ever having had a loving touch. Some of these people have only known abusive touch, or disciplinary touch. Some have only known minimal touch. Some have known empty touch only, the kind that says one thing but the feelings behind that touch say something else. Remember that handshake or that hug that felt ‘empty’?

The word “Massage” is different in many cultures and it seems to imply something similar in most of them. In Spanish we have a word: apapachar. This word is used to describe a tender, loving, cuddling touch as in a loving hug from a mother to her child. Apapachar can also be used to describe a lover’s embrace. In this case the lover’s embrace reminds one of being held in the safe and loving arms of our mother as a child, maybe even the feeling of being in the womb.

According to some sources, ‘apapachar’ is derived from the Nahuatl ‘apapachtli’ meaning someone who touches with the intention and in such a way as to alleviate pain and discomfort, to touch someone consciously and therapeutically. According to these sources, ‘apapachtli’ was the nahuatl word for ‘massage therapist’ and from this we have the word apapachar.

Every time you cuddle up with someone, or embrace or shake hands and you feel that special feeling of comfort and connection you are experiencing the magick of apapacar. Maybe you know how nice it feels to get a really good hug, and also how it feels to receive an empty or fake hug. Maybe you also know how to give these and to whom. What is the difference between these two? The difference is in how you feel after.

Do you hug everyone, or no one? Do you hug some people and not others? Do you hug some one to let them know everything is O.K., or have you ever withheld a hug to show how upset you were?

One of my teachers told me that a Chinese language term popularly translated as ‘massage’ is more accurately taken to mean ‘to touch consciously, with intention and attention, to touch in a knowing way’.

When you look within yourself, you may find that every type of touch you have ever received left an impression in the fabric of your consciousness and in your life. It is like looking back and seeing the footprints in the sand. Some of the impressions are smooth and soft while others are deep and rough, and still others you may not even be aware of.

Massage, conscious touch, therapeutic touch…its all the same. It is touching someone in a way that feels good. And when it is done correctly it feels so good, to both the giver and the receiver that you don’t want it to end.